who will officiate my wedding?
Remember that episode of Friends, where Chandler and Monica got married, and their friend Joey was the one who officiated? He also did that for Phoebe and Mike’s wedding. When I watched those episodes, I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if one of my befriends did mine?” It’ll make my wedding more special. Just like in the Friends episode, I felt like what Joey did was so heartfelt, so intimate, and so personal, because who else knows them more than one of their friends, right? Anyway, unfortunately in Alberta where I got married 12 years ago, you can’t just be an officiant. You can’t go online and register yourself, or take some courses and get a certificate. It didn’t work like that. It had to be an official marriage officiant. I checked online, and it has now changed for Alberta. Now, you can become a temporary Marriage Commissioner for one day. But the downside is that the application process take 4 weeks and at the moment, they are so overwhelmed with the number of applications. I guess a lot of people want to be Joey. LOL.
Did you read about Post Malone officiating a wedding on stage for a couple of his fans? Lately he’s been doing so many cool things for his fans that I’m starting to become one. I’m pretty sure those fans are not officially married yet, but it was so cool that they had the chance to do it in front of millions of people, and with someone really, really famous officiating it, whether or not it’s not real. I mean I won’t care. I’d just be so happy!
SO how do you decide on who will officiate your wedding? There are several factors to consider when choosing:
Ceremony location - if it’s going to be a church wedding, then of course your inly options would a either a priest or a pastor. You can’t bring an outsider. They usually provide it themselves if you’re doing it at their church or place of worship. A wedding officiant is somebody who can make your union legal and binding in the law. Whereas, a priest or pastor, not only make it legal and binding in the law, but also binding in the law of the bible and in the eyes of God.
Religion - it’s not about being or Christian, different cultures and religion or beliefs, have their own people who are the only ones allowed to officiate. SO you really have to consider that especially if you’re marrying someone of different culture, background or beliefs.
Aesthetic - I know. I know, it’s kinda cringy for me to use that word because I feel like that’s for a younger generation, definitely not my generation. But I can’t find the words. When I say aesthetic, I’m not just talking about the whole wedding look, but of the whole wedding vibes. If you want something very relaxed and fun, you can maybe ask one of your best friends to officiate, or if you want a more solemn, dramatic, romantic vibes, ask one of your elders to officiate, like your closest family member or grandma or grandpa if they still can.
If you have decided that you want someone close to you to officiate your wedding, how do you go about choosing the right person? If you want one of your friends to do it, who among your friends will you choose? Will the others get upset or jealous when you don’t choose them? If you want your bestfriend to do it, and he is already the Best Man, he can still do it. There’s no rule saying he can’t be both. But if you want to avoid any conflict among your friends, which I doubt there will be, then choose someone very close to you and do not include him or her in the bridal party. Make being an Officiant , their only role on the wedding. And it is a very important role.
If you choose one of your grandparents to do it, make sure that your grandparent is up to it, sometimes it maybe too big of a duty for them that it may stress them, and you don’t want to do that to them on your wedding, right?
What about our parents? Personally, I would avoid choosing a parent to do it, just because you don’t want the other parents to ask why. Why not them? Why not from our family? Etc. etc. Another thing is that, who knows the emotion running through your parents mind, what if they break down and cry during the whole thing? It would be such a cryfest from everyone, which is a good thing also, but then the ceremony might tale forever to finish.
Once again, as I’ve mentioned so many times in my blog, this this your wedding so this is ultimately your choice. Whatever makes you comfortable, both you and your future partner in law, is what’s important. Just ,ale sure that once you’ve decided, that you ask in person, and not by text, call or email (duh). Invite them to an intimate dinner, and ask them there. If they say no, don’t take it personal, don’t be upset. Noy all people are built to be able to talk in front of a lot of people. Being an officiant is sucha big task because it is the most important part of the wedding, so there’s so much pressure involved. SO if the person you ask, says no, then just ogo ask another one. Don’t force somebody if they don’t want to. Your wedding should be a fun, happy and memorable event for everyone, not just for you.
