wanted: perfect husband
Have you asked your parents how they met? My mom and dad met in college, they were each other’s first relationship. They dated while in school, and after graduating from college, they each had a job, their first jobs, then they started planning for their wedding. Life was so much simpler then, I think during their time, the only goal in life for most couples was to get married and have kids. Yes, they have jobs, but I think the job was only so that they could have a good life for their family. My mom was 22, my dad was 24. Both very young, especially for today’s standard. Nowadays, at 20’s, most people are just trying to figure out what they want in life. At 22, most people’s goal is just to be able to figure out what career path to go to, maybe some are saving money for travelling the world, others are advancing their education, getting their PhDs. Very seldom do you see a 22 yr old, whose goal is to get married. Same story as my grandparents. They met when they were very young and, they only dated each other, until they go married and had 9 kids. Kids are aplenty during the olden days. Can you imagine raising 9 kids? My gosh, I don’t know how they managed to do that, but the difference, I guess, is that before, most of the mothers were at home. Only the husbands were working. Today, it's very hard to survive on 1 income.
Oh how times have changed. But the thing I noticed was that most of the relationships back then lasted until one of them died. Maybe it’s just within my family, but I often wonder why that is. Is it because divorce or annulment is taboo before? Or is real love? How did my grandma and my mom, find the perfect husbands?? How come there are so many stories now of cheating? Why is it so easy now for married couple to give up?
Personally, I think one of the reasons is because there are so many options nowadays. Options for a better life, I guess? My grandparents experienced 2 world wars back then. I think the main concern during that time was just survival, more of keeping everyone alive, or just plain living until the kids are all grown up and married. With my parents, I think it was the same. Although there weren’t any wars when I was growing up, I think my parents were focused on giving us a good life. Besides, there was nothing else to do. back then. It was hard to travel anywhere outside the country. There was no internet to make anyone interested or curious to anything out of the norm. Is that the difference though?
In the world we live in now, with internet and dating sites, and whatnot, how can we get the perfect husband, wife or partner? To be honest, I don’t know the answer. I think there is no ingredient for it. You just have to look far and wide to find the perfect match.
Points to ponder:
Dating is good for the soul. When I say dating, I mean like real dates, not the Tinder/Grinder/Bumble one night stands. I’m not judging those who do that. I mean when you’re young and able, it’s good to enjoy life, and experience stuff, in a safe way, of course. You can sleep around if you want to, but when you’re ready and want to settle down, of crouse you’ll want to do actual dates to get to know the person you’re interested in. Dating is the only way you see if you are matching with the other person.
Patience is the key. Don’t give up. Of course you’ll meet some “A-holes” along the way, bu it doesn’t mean that everyone you’ll meet will be like that. Somewhere out there is another human being looking for the same thing as you.
It’s ok to be picky. You are looking for your forever, of course, it’s ok to be picky. But at the same time, you have to think about being practical and realistic. Sometimes, we set standards that are so high, that it is nearly impossible for anybody to ever attain it. And then we end up settling for just about anybody who’s available. Let’s focus on long term standards, stuff that will stand the test of time. Looks will change.
Be happy with yourself. You can’t look for happiness in another person. Happiness should come from yourself. Yes, Jerry Maguire said the famous line, “ You complete me”. But to be honest, nobody else should ever complete you. You have to be complete and happy with yourself first, on order to find someone to share it with. I know it’s easy to think that we’re not happy because we’re alone, and yes, it’s a factor, but it’s not the whole thing.
The answer is not black and white. It’s complicated but if you really look and take time, I know you’ll find someone. Someone you’ll spend the rest of your life with.
