asking for a monetary gift
Is it ethical to ask the guests to give you money instead of gifts? Are we allowed to put it on the invitation?
Technically, a guest has no obligation to give you anything. Wedding gifts are like a congratulatory gesture for your union, and also something to help you get started with your lives together. This was why years ago, our parents got plates, cutleries, towels, toasters, etc.
The dilemma for a lot of couples is that they don’t want to impose on their guests, but they also don’t want their guests to waste money on a gift that they know they will never use or will have to return to the store. Sometimes, you get the same gifts, and so the other gift will just be seating in a storage room collecting dust, until it gets re-gifted.
To be honest, for me as a guest, money is very convenient since I don’t have to think about the perfect present to buy. I’ve attended hundreds of weddings, and I don’t remember the last time I ever bought a real gift. It’s always been money. The point is, nowadays, everyone knows now that money is better for a new couple because they need it to get started. Even if you don’t put it on the invitation, I’m sure 80% of the guests will give monetary gifts.
If you don’t want to put it on the invitation, you can put it in a honeymoon/start up funding site. It’s like GO fund me account but for honeymoon and anything else you want or use the money for. Here are a couple of websites you might want to check out:
https://www.theknot.com/registry/newlywed-fund-cash-wedding-registry
If you want to put in on the invitation, look at the some of these wordings that I found on the internet:
Note on gifts
We are extremely grateful for any gift you will give to us, but if you haven’t already purchased something, monetary gifts will also be very much appreciated.
Wishing well
Your presence is already a gift to both of us, but if you wish to give us anything more, a monetary love gift to help us get started with our lives together, will be very much appreciated.
Here’s one from the wedding I attended recently:
See how good the wording is? It was very elegantly written. Nothing rude about it, right? Doesn’t matter how long it is, as long as it’s not just “Presentation only”. That was the word that my mom used in her invitation when she got married to my step dad 20 years ago. At that time, I didn’t know what it meant or if it was rude or anything. All I know is that everyone knew what it meant. At least now, people have gotten creative in the wording.
Anyway, if you are not comfortable putting it on the invitation, maybe just quietly spread the word through your mom or siblings haha.
