death before a wedding
The Queen of England, Queen Elizabeth II, died on September 8, 2022. The whole world is mourning because she was the oldest living Queen of a Monarch, and maybe the last Queen UK will ever have in a long time. I know I felt really sad when I found out.
I was reading the news the other day about a couple who had their wedding day on the same day as the Queen’s funeral. They were a little bit hesitant to continue because the whole world was mourning and giving tributes to the Queen, and they felt awkward celebrating. They went through with it still. just because it costs too much for them to cancel. I guess what hey did was they still paid tribute to the Queen during the reception.
Isn’t that just sad? When the day you’ve been waiting and planning for, for a long, long time, especially if it had been pushed a lot of times due to the pandemic, suddenly gets clouded by a tragedy? I am not only talking about a big celebrity or famous personality, I am talking about anybody related to you, your family member. In the Philippines, there is a superstition called “SUKOB”. In English, Sukob means part of a conflict, or covered in. The rule is that if you are getting married this year, and a member of your immediate family dies on the same year, you need to postpone your wedding and move it to a different year. The superstition is that, the death will bring bad luck to the wedding and the marriage itself. A lot of people in the Philippines still believe in that superstition, because for them there’s so much to lose.
Anyway, what if it happens to you? What if your wedding is already a go, after being cancelled so many times, and then a tragedy happens a week before? Here’s some points to ponder:
If it’s death in the family, and it’s so close to the wedding day, like maybe the same month, I would really just reschedule if I can. I can’t deal with the death. It’s something I personally feel should take priority, whether it’s regarding preparations or feelings. If I am the one getting married, I can’t deal with a loss of a family member, and a wedding at the same time. It has to be rescheduled. That’s my personal take. It is up to you of course. If it’s impossible to reschedule, tone it down a bit .But then by toning it down, the whole mood or vibe of the wedding will be somber. It will somehow feel like a funeral service.
If it’s within the year, I think there’s no reason to reschedule because there’s plenty of time to mourn, and by the time the wedding day comes, it will somehow feel like a break from all the heartache and sadness that everyone is going through. It will be a joyous occasion, kinda like a rainbow after the storm. Something the family can look forward to, to bring everyone back together in a different tone, a happy event this time.
If you don’t have time to reschedule, you can pay tribute by:
Including a picture of your loved one in your wedding bouquet. A lot of brides and bridesmaids do this, especially if their loved one would’ve wanted to witness the wedding. They would put a picture in the bouquet, as a sort of symbol of that loved one’s presence in the event, albeit by spirit.
Adding touches of black and white to your theme. I know this is a bit harder especially if black doesn’t really go with your wedding color, but some touches here and there would do. Like may be with ribbons, or table liners etc.
Incorporating the deceased loved one in the speeches. Sort of like telling a story about your memory with that person. Not necessarily just about that person, but include him/her in your speech about a time not too long ago that you remember.
Letting the emcee start off the night with the acknowledgement of what happened, and that the night will also be a tribute and in memory of that loved one.
Including the deceased loved one in the wedding video montage, you know that ones where they show the bride and groom when they were younger, all the way to adulthood? If you have pictures with your loved one, make sure its included so that the people will also remember those times.
Playing one of the deceased loved one’s favorite song during the wedding reception, that’s the main tribute.
Those are just a few ways to pay tribute to the loved one who passed before the wedding. Of course, pushing through with the wedding is dependent on so many factors, like if what happened was really tragic, then I suggest just postponing the wedding altogether. It’s up to you, because you’re the one who’ll be able to determine that. Hoping nothing like that happens at all.
