wedding dramas
We’ve all experienced that, right? Nobody said wedding planning is easy, that’s why sometimes even the sweetest, gentlest, and calmest bride in the world, can turn into a raging bridezilla. Wedding planning involves a lot of stress, confusion, and sometimes heartaches, that in some cases, become the reason for the breakup of the couple. But right now, we’re not talking about little disasters or cancellations of the venue or any logistical problems. I am talking personal relationship issues, whether it be with your family, or your husband-to-be’s family.
I consider myself lucky because my husband's family wasn’t here (sorry haha) when we got married, not that I think they will interfere with anything, nor would I have let them, if they did. LOL. It was more on my side, that caused all the drama. Well, actually mostly my mom. You see, she didn’t approve of my husband at first, (don’t they all dislike their sons in law at the beginning?) She didn’t want me to get married to him. Then it was, she didn’t want me to get married outside of church, and then it was, she didn’t want a small wedding for me. That’s the issue with with Filipino families, or even Asian families for that matter. Our families are usually very close-knit, and parents always, ALWAYS have a say. Doesn’t matter how old you are, they ALWAYS have a say in your life, and of course, we respect that and usually follow. That is why it is so hard to say no sometimes, especially when they’re asking for a favor, like inviting a distant cousin you barely know, or something like that.
Have you read about what is going on between Victoria Beckham and Nicola Peltz Beckham? Nicola is the wife of Brooklyn, the eldest son on Victoria and David Beckham. Nicola and Brooklyn got married recently, and it was a very big, lavish affair. Now, I’ve been reading articles about an issue between Nicola and Victoria, and they were assuming that it may have started during the wedding planning. I don’t know the real story. I guess nobody really knows, but it’s plausible that that is where it all started. But it’s not really a good start to a marriage, right?
Drama with your own Family
If there is an issue with your own family, it is easier to fix because you know you can easily talk to them. When I say easily, it doesn’t mean that the problem is easy to fix, but rather, it is easy to face because you can talk to your family anytime, and anyway you want. One of the issue that may cause drama is the guest list. As I said in my other blogs, Filipino weddings are huge because everyone is always invited. That’s where the drama can happen: when you choose not to invite relatives you barely know, but the rest of the family know very well. They will start off with the guilt trip, and when it doesn’t work, it will turn into anger and resentment. Don’t be swayed by those. Stand firm with your choices and decisions. It is your wedding. It is your choice.
Another issue that may cause drama within the family is the bridal party. “Why don’t you include cousin Jane in the bridesmaids list?”
“Why didn’t you ask Cousin Tommy to be a groomsman?”
Another issue might be the seating chart. “Can you not seat me with this person?” And there you are, redoing the whole seating chart again, for the nth time, because some family member don’t want to seat together.
Again, it is your decision, no matter what they say, stand firm.
Your husband’s family
This is the complicated drama, because you can’t talk to them the way you talk to your family, you have to choose your words wisely or it will forever tarnish whatever type of relationship you have with them. If it’s your future mother in law causing the stress and arguments, then it is best to talk to your partner first, see if he/she can pacify things with the mom, otherwise ask permission. The permission part is just so you know you’re not stepping on someone’s boundary. An issue with the mother in law, sometimes take forever to heal. It’ll not only affect you, but your partner as well. And in the future, if, and when you decide to have kids, it’ll be complicated for the kids to have a really good relationship with their grandma. But you know, in some cases, it’s actually the birth of grandkids that heal all wounds.
The important thing to remember is that, wedding dramas are inevitable. It’ll always be there, no matter how big or small the wedding is. The answer is compromise. You have to compromise somehow, so that everyone will at least feel like they won or something.
And always remember that, the wedding day is really just a day. You don’t let that one day destroy your relationship forever. Well, maybe not forever, maybe for a long time (although sometimes, these wedding dramas take forever to be fixed, you know)
